You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
