Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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