I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
