I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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