laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
