Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
