Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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