I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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