I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
