I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
