How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
