and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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