Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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