You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
