I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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