its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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