sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
