I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Randomize
