What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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