all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Be still, my beating vagina.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
