is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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