Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
