maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
