i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
