every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
