I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we're making bets on your personal life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
