She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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