we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
