I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
