how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
