Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
