Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
