I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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