8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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