You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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