but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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