I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
