roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize