Don't you send me to vm
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
