I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
