So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize