Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
