So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
