Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
