How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize