Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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