And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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