HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just had sex on a roof
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
