i don't plan on having that self control this summer
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
