Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
