It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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