She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
