Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
