Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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