i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
