Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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