How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
