Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
