I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize