lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
