Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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