is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
