It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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