Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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