you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
